I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
