Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
