We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
