I wish I could punch you in the face.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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