my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
