take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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