I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
