He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
