he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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