I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
