i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
