she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
