i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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