i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
