we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Damn victory sex feels great
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize