I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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