Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
