Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
