Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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