New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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