i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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