we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
