Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
