We're facebook friends in real life
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
