Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
