i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
