but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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