Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
