Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
