I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize