Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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