i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
