I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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