He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
