Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
