Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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