So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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