went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
