At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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