Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
