Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
