sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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