She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
