what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize