I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize