the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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