I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
