Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize