Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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