Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
