i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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