You're completely useless in the revolution.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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