I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
