hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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