Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
