Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
