oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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