So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
