do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
