Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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