I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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