therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
