my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
