Whod you bang
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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