wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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