I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize