Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
