Apparently you make a good broom.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
