we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
