Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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