having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize