I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
