If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
