i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
