nut hugger
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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