Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
