Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
